Pretty Woman, Petty Women

I have never been considered one of I have never been considered one of the “pretty girls” or so I thought.

Growing up I was picked on daily for being the fat, flat chested, coke bottle glasses wearing odd girl.  I was even picked on for the way I dressed. No one ever told me I was pretty, just my momma. But I mean, that was her job. Moms are supposed to tell you that, it’s a part of the mommy handbook.  Isn’t it?

I guess I grew up with the belief that I wasn’t pretty and carried all those hurtful words that were said by all those boys and girls. Somewhere along this journey I started to feel beautiful. I never necessarily felt pretty. Yes, there is a difference. Being pretty is solely based on your physical appearance, while being beautiful is more than just what the eyes can see. Being beautiful is a reflection of our souls, our spirits. 

Two days ago, a coworker told me I should be careful around certain women we work with because these coworkers, whoever they are, don’t like women who are prettier than them.  What? I was confused, for many reasons. Was she saying that people thought I was pretty? That people didn’t like me because of this? And that there are actually women so insecure with themselves that they would dislike another woman because they suffer from what I believe is low self-esteem?

Despite all of the issues I have dealt with, with my own physical appearance I have never hated on another because she had a different type of beauty. Yes, different type of beauty.  We all are pretty, whether we may feel like it or not, we are. Another women's beauty doesn't take away from your own beauty. But hating on another woman for being attractive, is pretty ugly. 

I look back at times where I struggled to see beauty in my looks and every time I doubted this, it was because I was comparing myself to someone else. Back in the days it was the girls in High School. Today, I find myself comparing myself to someone’s Instagram. And what's so ironic is that the person who you are admiring or maybe even envious of is probably struggling to see their own beauty, struggling with their own body image, just like you.  I think my nose is too big, my hair isn’t long enough, straight enough or depending on the day, curly enough. I think my thighs have too much cellulite, my breast sag way too much and my waist should be smaller.  I mean my list goes on. But I know that despite the flaws that I see, others still wished they looked like me, wished they were my size or had my shape. The same way I compare myself to others is the way others compare their selves to me.  And honestly despite all the things I dislike about my physical appearance I still embrace it all because those little things I see as flaws make me who I am. 

Maybe, just maybe if we stopped comparing ourselves to other women, to those photo shopped pictures on social media or those women who walk past us with perfectly man made bodies and we started investing that time and energy into embracing and appreciating our own beauty, we would be happy. Spend more time focusing on all the things you love about your body, telling yourself positive affirmations and less time wishing you had a prefect booty like that Instagram model. 

I am gorgeous, you are gorgeous, and exactly how we are!